On Losing Three Trees in a Blizzard

(Sung to the tune of Johnny Nash’s “I Can See Clearly Now”)

I can see clearly now the trees are gone
I can see all the snow still on my roadway
Gone are the gorgeous pines that blocked my view
Gonna be a bright, bright front lawn someday

Rob wanted all those trees down years ago
I told him, “Oh no, honey, it’s privacy!”
Gone are those gorgeous pines that blocked our view
Gonna be a bright, bright front lawn I see

Look straight ahead, I can now see 590
Look all around, I can see blue skies!
My lawn will be dry…dry…

I can see clearly now the trees are gone
Thanks to my neighbor they have all disappeared
Got lots of pine if someone wants it now
Gonna have a bright, bright front lawn this year!

Waiting for the Dead to Talk

Everybody’s telling me to wait for signs from Rob.

“He’s there, he’s guiding you, his spirit is watching over you, he’ll give you a sign…”

One friend, only a week or two after Rob passed, told me that he hugged her.  I wanted to ask her why he would hug her first, and not me, but I didn’t have the nerve.

I shared with friends that a hummingbird came and hovered over Rob’s red impatiens last month.  Someone told me it was Rob himself, coming to visit me and cheer me.  I said, “Rob was not a hummingbird.  He was a hawk, or an eagle.  He was not a hummingbird.”

I talk to Rob all the time, but I get no answers.  I don’t even get the sense that he’s there listening.

Someone told me to pay more attention to my dreams, that perhaps Rob can only visit me in dreams.

Thursday night I had the most vivid dream ever, but in my dream I was sitting on a couch with Hillary Clinton and asking her why she feels entitled to the White House.  I made the mistake of calling her “Mrs. Clinton” and she made very clear to me that I should address her as “Madame Secretary” before telling me that it’s not for me to second guess her motives nor deny her her place in herstory.

Rob was nowhere in sight, in this dream, nor has he been anywhere but in photographs, lately.

 

 

Harry Houdini wanted desperately to reach out to his mother’s departed spirit.  So much so that he apparently visited each and every so called medium in an effort to have his mother visit earth after she passed.  Harry ended up exposing each and every so called medium as a fraud.

I’ve come to the conclusion that once a person is dead, they are really and truly dead.

Perhaps that’s the way they want it.

Perhaps it’s what we should let them have.

Pure quiet, and peace.

Float

As fond as I am of making a short story long, this shall be a relatively brief post for a change.

I’m going to step back from blogging and the blogosphere for the time being. I have some health issues that keep compounding themselves and I am discovering that dealing with them is taking all my energies and efforts. The dialysis is not working as well as hoped and now I’m going through six months of drug therapy to squash a so called pre-cancerous condition.

So, I’m going to float for a while and remove myself from all the sturm and drang that we get caught up in on a daily basis and concentrate on healing.

I’ll miss you guys a lot more than you’ll miss me, so I probably won’t be able to resist a peek now and then when I have a good day.

Hopefully, I’ll be back in the Spring, meaner than before.

Keep yer fingers crossed for me.

Continue reading “Float”