On Losing Three Trees in a Blizzard

(Sung to the tune of Johnny Nash’s “I Can See Clearly Now”)

I can see clearly now the trees are gone
I can see all the snow still on my roadway
Gone are the gorgeous pines that blocked my view
Gonna be a bright, bright front lawn someday

Rob wanted all those trees down years ago
I told him, “Oh no, honey, it’s privacy!”
Gone are those gorgeous pines that blocked our view
Gonna be a bright, bright front lawn I see

Look straight ahead, I can now see 590
Look all around, I can see blue skies!
My lawn will be dry…dry…

I can see clearly now the trees are gone
Thanks to my neighbor they have all disappeared
Got lots of pine if someone wants it now
Gonna have a bright, bright front lawn this year!

Waiting for the Dead to Talk

Everybody’s telling me to wait for signs from Rob.

“He’s there, he’s guiding you, his spirit is watching over you, he’ll give you a sign…”

One friend, only a week or two after Rob passed, told me that he hugged her.  I wanted to ask her why he would hug her first, and not me, but I didn’t have the nerve.

I shared with friends that a hummingbird came and hovered over Rob’s red impatiens last month.  Someone told me it was Rob himself, coming to visit me and cheer me.  I said, “Rob was not a hummingbird.  He was a hawk, or an eagle.  He was not a hummingbird.”

I talk to Rob all the time, but I get no answers.  I don’t even get the sense that he’s there listening.

Someone told me to pay more attention to my dreams, that perhaps Rob can only visit me in dreams.

Thursday night I had the most vivid dream ever, but in my dream I was sitting on a couch with Hillary Clinton and asking her why she feels entitled to the White House.  I made the mistake of calling her “Mrs. Clinton” and she made very clear to me that I should address her as “Madame Secretary” before telling me that it’s not for me to second guess her motives nor deny her her place in herstory.

Rob was nowhere in sight, in this dream, nor has he been anywhere but in photographs, lately.



Harry Houdini wanted desperately to reach out to his mother’s departed spirit.  So much so that he apparently visited each and every so called medium in an effort to have his mother visit earth after she passed.  Harry ended up exposing each and every so called medium as a fraud.

I’ve come to the conclusion that once a person is dead, they are really and truly dead.

Perhaps that’s the way they want it.

Perhaps it’s what we should let them have.

Pure quiet, and peace.


As fond as I am of making a short story long, this shall be a relatively brief post for a change.

I’m going to step back from blogging and the blogosphere for the time being. I have some health issues that keep compounding themselves and I am discovering that dealing with them is taking all my energies and efforts. The dialysis is not working as well as hoped and now I’m going through six months of drug therapy to squash a so called pre-cancerous condition.

So, I’m going to float for a while and remove myself from all the sturm and drang that we get caught up in on a daily basis and concentrate on healing.

I’ll miss you guys a lot more than you’ll miss me, so I probably won’t be able to resist a peek now and then when I have a good day.

Hopefully, I’ll be back in the Spring, meaner than before.

Keep yer fingers crossed for me.

Continue reading “Float”

On Singing Latin, and Other Uncomfortable Things

Well, as most of you know, I moved to Pennsylvania and am settling in. I joined the Pike County Choral Society because my mother and sister are altos there and I thought it would be fun to sing again. I haven’t sung in a choir since high school. Seriously. I am so out of practice it isn’t funny.

You learn, in a good high school chorus, how to sing a little Latin, a little French, perhaps some German. You don’t really learn enough, of course, but you can get the gist of how each language is supposed to sound while being sung by a group of people who can or cannot really sing well.

Having forgotten that you’re supposed to drop the H and that I is “ee”, I found myself mispronouncing all this gorgeous Latin stuff that Dvorak wrote in his Mass in D. As for learning German, I never learned it, so all I can say is that singing Bach in chorus is a hell of a lot harder than learning Bach on the piano. And I happen to be a smoker, so instead of being a high soprano or a soprano or even an alto (which is how I progressed in high school over the course of two years), I am now a tenor. And the Pike County Choral Society only had two other tenors, before I showed up. So now I’m singing some wrong notes AND mispronouncing my Latin and German whilst singing the tenor part with only two other people.


After two very uncomfortable rehearsals wherein I felt I was in WAY over my head, I got a CD from my sister which features some other chorus singing the songs we are practicing, and I also was led to a handy little website called Cyberbass.com. I can now practice at home, which is a good thing because having one two-hour rehearsal once a week just won’t cut it. I also looked up “How to sing Latin in Chorus” and got some great tips on the internet. Lastly, I transferred the CD my sister made onto my iPod so that I can go to bed each night listening to all the songs we’re featuring in our concert. It helps just to listen to it, without singing, so that it ‘sinks in’. I’m finally feeling like I can get these songs ready by the Holiday Concert coming up next month. I’m also having some really good dreams lately, too, which was unexpected.

It would be really cool if someone will come and videotape us so that we can stick the concert up on YouTube, but then again, I’d be scared silly if they did. I just think it would be kinda cute to sing Latin for my good friend Dick Day, LOL…

Anyway, if you ever find yourself in a choral society and you’re singing Latin, here’s some pointers: A is “ah” as in “Father”. E is “eh” as in “Fed”. I is “EE”. Period. O is “aw” as in “Fought”. U is “ooh”. Period. Y is I which is “EE”.

Make light of your consonants and concentrate on your vowels. Breathe in deeply without moving your chest or shoulders, and only breathe when you can sneak in a breath. Which isn’t often. Always look at your director except when you’re busy looking at the music. Always follow the music except when you’re busy looking at the director. Um. De-um.

De-e-e-um. Daylight comin’ and me wanna go home…