Edward and the NSA

A ditty


(To the tune of Charlie On The MTA)

Let me tell you the story
Of a man named Edward
On a tragic and fateful day
He put a thumb drive in his pocket
Kissed his girlfriend Lindsay
Went to work at the NSA.

But he spilled the beans
At a hotel in Hong Kong
Then he left for parts unknown
When he got to Sheremetyevo airport
The Russian agents told him
He could not leave the transit zone.

Did he ever return,
No he never returned
And his fate is still unlearn’d
He may reside forever
In the streets of Moscow
He’s the man who never returned.

He pretended to flee
with Evo Morales
But they grounded that plane, too
So Julian Assange
Got a lawyer for Edward
And Putin said, “Here are the rules.”

“If the revelations stop
He can stay in Moscow
At least for one…

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