MRS. MALAPROP

I start at Salon and I am reading some tripe about a comic.

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/02/david_cross_im_not_a_sad_clown/?source=newsletter

Then I get bored and look at the right side where there are headlines located at other sites.

http://scribol.com/stories/linkgrid/100454/561+509/1981628?ab=A&widget_id=2078673

 Usually I stay away from scribol because the last five or six times I ventured into that site I end up at another site that contains nothing but conservative crap.

But this time I am sent to another site and the article was obviously written by a liberal.

http://brainz.org/15-smartest-and-dumbest-presidents-united-states/?utm_source=scribol&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=scribol

And vwella! (is that a word?), I come upon a list of the 15 dumbest presidents, after reading the list of the fifteen smartest presidents.

The main point of interest in the dumbest list is that Ford ends up only one level ahead of George W. Bush!

There is only one thing that really links these two non-intellectuals of course and that is Dicky Cheney.

Cheney ran both presidencies!

Cheney made sure that Ford’s ‘non-partisan’ Administration manufactured more vetoes in two years than any president had ever vetoed in a full term or even two full terms; Dicky just wished to stop the anti-Nixon Democratic momentum.

Cheney made sure that the Bush Administration became the most pro war administration since Nixon’s Administration; which made sense since Dicky had just spent the previous five years working for a defense contractor.

Anyway, when you have hit bottom and are reading about that Mensa Candidate Bush, you will find another link that eventually sends you to a 2009 Slate compendium of ‘Bushisms’.

There are 13 full pages of Bushisms in this fantastic piece. And as far as I can tell every single quote is fully linked to text or video.

Truly a marvelous exercise in compilation.

MRS. MALAPROP

Mrs. Malaprop was a character in Sheridan’s The Rivals.

This lady’s propensity for linguistic stupidity is truly awe-inspiring.

The one line that comes to mind included the phrase:

Like an alligator on the Nile.

First Mrs. Malaprop was intending to discuss an allegory.

Second, there are crocodiles along the Nile and not alligators.

A good malapropism should contain more than one ‘mistake’ either in definition or in spelling or in grammar or in just plain substance.

Wiki tells me that Shakespeare created a male character in Much Ado About Nothing with a similar affliction.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs._Malaprop#Distinguishing_features

Slate reproduced 13 pages of Bush’s malapropisms beginning in 2009 (the date of the compendium) and ending in 1999. I could not help myself; I had to include a few of these Mensan Messages below just for effect. You should not be drinking any coffee as you review my short list or the original Slate masterpiece.

And this collection immediately reminded me of folks like Palin and Bachmann.

Here is a site for Palanisms.

The Twittersphere erupted Sunday when former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin tweeted that “peaceful Muslims” should “refudiate” the mosque being built in New York City near where the Twin Towers once stood. Palin found herself the butt of many tweets, as refudiate, of course, is not a word in the English language.

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/malapropisms-manhattan-mosques-and-sarah-palin/

I picked this particular example of malapropism to make my point.

I mean refudiate is not a word.

And why would a peaceful Muslim wish to rally against the building of a mosque? I suppose that a Sunni would not be pleased that a Shiite mosque was being erected?

This little blog goes on to show how Palin attempted to correct her original message by changing refudiate to refute when the actual word she was looking for was ‘repudiate’.

Here is another example:

He who warned, uh, the … the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells and, um, by makin’ sure that as he’s ridin’ his horse through town to send those warnin’ shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free … and we were gonna be armed.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2011/06/sarah-palin-paul-revere-midnight-ride-/1#.UVseu5PryRo

See, Palin is feigning some elementary grasp of American History to her disgrace. She even attempted to clean up the mess later on.

Which only made her look more moronic.

When I take a look at this ‘off the cuff” lecture my head is just swimming. Good ole Paul was warning colonial militia men that the British were ‘a comin’ and really was not in a mood to confront the Brits himself.

Ahhhhhhhhh, forget this entire exercise. Maybe Sarah is simply a Dadaist after all!

Here is a site for Bachmannisms.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/25/michele-bachmann-investigation_n_2949746.html#slide=1131095

Before headlining a GOP fundraiser, the possible presidential hopeful told a group of students and conservative activists in Manchester, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord.”

But those first shots of the Revolutionary War were fired in Massachusetts, not New Hampshire. Though Bachmann probably wasn’t the first to confuse Concord, N.H., with Concord, Mass., her mistake was striking given her roots in the tea party movement, which takes its name from the dumping of tea into Boston Harbor by angry American colonists in December 1773, 16 months before the Battle of Lexington Green.

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/03/12/tea-party-favorite-misfires-puts-lexington-and-concord-in-nh/

She has also confused the birth place of John Wayne with the birth place of John Wayne Gacy; well enough of this.

Take a look at my first link and you can read about how nuts Bachmann is; how cruelly she treated her employees; how come 46% of everyone who ever worked for her quit; and why there are so many informants attempting to see Michele prosecuted for misuse of campaign funds along with other infractions. There appears to be a real investigation going on here!

To preface my contentions made in this essay, I understand that everyone makes mistakes from time to time; everyone lies from time to time; everyone misstates things from time to time and no one has perfect grammar.

And everyone has his or her own style!

Senator Sessions has a lisp and a little Bawbwa Wawa bent to his speech pattern.

President Obama can hardly utter two words without an ‘ah’–unless of course he is reading from a teleprompter.

Morris, late of Fox News and later of the Clinton Administration has the most pronounced lisp of all with the exception of that Oregon Senator.

McConnell sounds like that ESPN poker announcer who makes it impossible for me to watch TV poker any longer. Kind of like the giant cartoon rooster. The real Southern Rooster of course was Jesse Helms.

Bill Clinton is so erudite that it is difficult for him to explain anything in less than half an hour.

Sarah Palin speaks with what I would call a 1950’s Minnesota accent; we used to sound like Norwegian immigrants who just got off the booooht.

Senator Cruz really looks and sounds like Joe McCarthy to me; not just in message and in intent. Cruz has what I would call a ‘hesitant authoritative element’ to his speech; which is strange because he appears to be ‘proud’ of his Hispanic heritage?

Anyway, we all have our own styles; if you like the guy it is style and if you detest the fellow it is fault!

Ad hominem attacks aside; I think I know why repubs despise MSM even though talk radio and Fox News comprise so much of MSM.

Recall when George W. Bush was referred to as the guy you would like to have a beer with?

Well I think this all goes back to journalism as a trade.

Journalists and reporters and pundits (some anyway) are stuck writing every single day and have done so in this country for over 250 years and these journalists are always being questioned by their editors.

Editors were stuck correcting all the material sent to them and were constantly berating the journalist for spelling errors and grammatical flaws.

And editors are stuck demanding a full listing of sources from their reporters. They are stuck demanding some sort of proof for a reporter’s claim.

So journalists have ‘an ear’ for language.

One of the problems with sites like Drudge or Breibart lies in their lack of editing. No standards as it were. Just throw it out there and see what works. Like rush and beckerhead and the other radio heads.

And so I imagine that many journalists must cringe when they hear bad grammar coming from the mouths of people like W. Bush and Palin and Bachmann.

And I also imagine that these professionals really cringe when Bush or Palin or Bachmann fail to provide substantiation for their underlying messages.

And I imagine that these professionals really cringe at inconsistencies; lack of structure and clear misstatements of fact. (lies)

Finally I imagine that these professionals cannot have a beer with these types of politicians because they are afraid of spitting of their beers in front of bush or palin or bachmann in reaction to some malapropism.

So the better journalists in our new chaotic world of information must seem like ‘elites’ to the likes of Bush or Palin or Bachmann.

Because inside every journalist, every reporter and every pundit is an evil editor.

And the bushes and palins and bachmanns are forced to read articles that correct their bullshite and the corrections kind of piss them off; especially if the criticisms are pretty much true.

And I think that at the center of a malapropism lies a Mrs. Malaprop who only pretends that she knows something about something; when in fact she does not know much of anything.

And the Mrs. Malaprops in this universe do not like to be reminded of the fact that they do not know much of anything!

A thousand Bushisms:

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/bushisms/2000/03/the_complete_bushisms.4.html

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”—Interview with CBS News, Washington D.C., Sept. 6, 2006

“I’ve reminded the prime minister—the American people, Mr. Prime Minister, over the past months that it was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship.”—Washington, D.C., June 29, 2006

President Bush: Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?

Peter Wallsten of the Los Angeles Times: I can take them off.
Bush: I’m interested in the shade look, seriously.
Wallsten: All right, I’ll keep it, then.
Bush: For the viewers, there’s no sun.
Wallsten: I guess it depends on your perspective.
Bush: Touché.

Exchange with legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten, to whom Bush later apologized, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

“You took an oath to defend our flag and our freedom, and you kept that oath underseas and under fire.”—Addressing war veterans, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2006

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/bushisms/2000/03/the_complete_bushisms.5.html

“I think it’s important to bring somebody from outside the system, the judicial system, somebody that hasn’t been on the bench and, therefore, there’s not a lot of opinions for people to look at.” —On the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, Washington, D.C., October 4, 2005

“I want to thank you for the importance that you’ve shown for education and literacy.”

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/bushisms/2000/03/the_complete_bushisms.7.html

“After all, Europe is America’s closest ally.”—Mainz, Germany, Feb. 23, 2005

“We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there’s not this kind of federal—federal cufflink.”—At Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000

“People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I’ll give you an example; I don’t read what’s handed to me. People say, ‘Here, here’s your speech, or here’s an idea for a speech.’ They’re changed. Trust me.”—Interview with the New York Times, March 15, 2000

“If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.”—Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

 “This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It’s what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve.”—Speaking during “Perseverance Month” at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000

“A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness.”—The Edge With Paula Zahn, Sept. 18, 2000

“We’ll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers.”—Houston, Texas, Sept. 6, 2000

“The fundamental question is, ‘Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?’ I will be, but until I’m the president, it’s going to be hard for me to verify that I think I’ll be more effective.”—In Wayne, Mich., as quoted by Katharine Q. Seelye in the New York Times, June 28, 2000

“This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That’s what we were certain of. … You see, even though it’s an uncertain world, we’re certain of some things. We’re certain that even though the ‘evil empire’ may have passed, evil still remains. We’re certain there are people that can’t stand what America stands for. … We’re certain there are madmen in this world, and there’s terror, and there’s missiles and I’m certain of this, too: I’m certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I’m certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low.”—Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000

“The legislature’s job is to write law. It’s the executive branch’s job to interpret law.”—Austin, Texas, Nov. 22, 2000

Well enough of that.

I mean kids say the darndest things!

You get my point?

I think I might do another blog just demonstrating some of the pure evil that lurks inside of some of these Bushisms!

 

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