Breaking News!


The Supreme Court has overturned DOMA … but only for couples that own multiple firearms and sufficient ammunition to annihilate their critics.

The high court ruled that DOMA be replaced with ADOMA – the Armed Defense of Marriage Act. Writing for the majority, and wielding a Taurus .45/410 Judge revolver, Justice Samuel Alito wrote, “Any couple that expects defense of their right to marry had better be prepared to take out any fool that objects by themselves, instead of relying on the government to clear the streets on their behalf.”

Writing for the minority, Justice Sonia Sotomayor penned, “A wise Latina woman keeps her head down when she sees a crazy white man with a loaded gun.”

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