TIGER WOODS IS UBERMENCH

 

Everything is relative, at least that is what Einstein tells us.

I know little of physics but I know that there is a relativity involved in concepts like context and origin and a number of other factors.

Supposedly, teapartiers and other conservatives generally seek status quo. These people do not like change or concepts like

These stances are simply covers for other considerations but…no matter.

This blog is about Tiger Woods, a hero of mine. Regardless of silly arguments to the contrary, no one in sports today eclipses the production of this sportsman in the last twenty years.

Hell I would compare him to Babe Ruth, the single greatest baseball player of all time whose only physically enhancing drugs included tobacco, whiskey and sex. Hahahahahah

 

I swear that Ruth never even once received a vitamin B injection!

I do not think that we can adequately judge Tiger’s performance as a golfer without looking at all the golfers currently on tour and on tour since 1996 when the lad left college and entered the PGA as a pro.

We must look at these men who have achieved great feats over the last 16 years before we even get into the history of the sport.

I watched an interview with this PGA Ubermench recently. It seems that all major golf courses had gyms—work out areas for golfers. He noted that in ‘the old days’ there would be two men in the gym; he and VJ Singh.

Now we look at the golfers, especially the younger golfers, and they are muscular and it is clear that they have worked out every single day of their lives.

Without sounding too gay in my assessment, most of these youngsters wear shirts that indicate bulging muscles in the shoulder and arm areas. They have thin waistes and powerful legs.

I have already discussed my assessment of some older golfers in their thirties and forties who sometimes exhibit pot bellies and man-tits.

So here are the stats for the top players in the PGA right now.

Forgetting formal rankings right now, let me posit the greatest golfers around today:

PHIL MICKELSON

Phil is terrific. I mean he appears to be the consumate family man; it appears he does not fuck around on his wife; he stands at the ropes as they say signing hats and notebooks and other golf paraphenalia.

And he is fun to watch.

Like Trevino, Mickelson will be stuck in the trees and come up with some iron shot that boggles the mind.

Phil has poise.

I am sure even in the face of a thousand hours of camera tapes following his progress over the last two decades that he never broke a putter following a lip-out and he never threw his clubs and he never seemed to curse his ‘luck’!

I have never heard him swear.

I have seldom heard of him disparaging his competitors!

I recall an interview with him sometime in the last few years.

Phil was downcast, depressed.

Phil is not going to reach twelve let alone 20 major victories.

Phil is never going to surpass Arnie’s PGA totals let alone Jack’s.

So during this interview it was clear that he had been meeting with a shrink to work out aims and purposes in his life.

Well I am not going to win 20 majors, but I can shoot for ten majors.

I am not going to win 70 PGA titles but I can win 50!

It was such an interesting discussion really.

Just a thought on stats.

Trevino was so much fun. I just recall watching the cameras follow him into Sleepy Hollows and he would march with such determination to his destination and he had a lousy lie and he had trees between his ball and the green and…..

And Lee would come up with a shot! And he would win the tournament!

I have reported my own experience as a ten year old watching Killebrew and Mantle and Maris all his home runs in a Yankee rout against my Twins. It was a wonder to behold! It was fun. It was incredible.

Does Mantle or Maris or Killebrew even spark a memory in today’s baseball fans? I doubt it although Mantle and Maris got a whole lot more press than Killebrew.

Phil has made astounding shots and prevailed in so many many tournaments over two decades and he should not be attacked as being irrelevant!

Besides, Phil showed up on Tin Cup for chrissakes!

Here are his stats.

40 PGA Victories.

4 Major Victories.

7 European Victories

Today, Phil Mickelson has the best record on tour, second only to Tiger.

V J SINGH

Nobody has worked harder to achieve his position on the PGA Tour than V J Singh.

Here is a guy (listed as ‘Black’ by the PGA, dhahahahah) who overcame hardships the likes of which only Chi Chi Rodriguez faced during his childhood.

An Indian (genetically) born on a tiny island known as Fiji, ended up with all these trophies in a sport that was generally occupied by rich white guys! AHAHAHAH.

34 PGA wins

13 European Tour wins

5 Asian Tour wins

And in 2004, he was NUMBER ONE in the entire world and received just about every single award available. I mean he beat the greatest golfer in the world in just about every single stat you can imagine.

I am sure that if one were to write a biography of this athlete, it would take a thousand pages to even get into the subject.

I like to watch golfers walk or trod or march on the course.

Phil is so much fun to watch. He kind of ‘clomps’, he ‘lurches’, he ‘clods’, he ‘proceeds?’…it is hard to articulate what I see as I watch this great golfer meander down the field. He seems so damnable clumsy—until he strikes the ball of course.

V J is like a ballet dancer. He appears almost asleep. He has an ambulatory cadence that really astounds me.

I think of DiMaggio wandering out in Center Field while he scopes out a high fly ball and almost lackadaisically pulls in the fly for a catch.

V J is definitely a dancer.

I have never witnessed a more laid back golfer in my life although Freddy Couples is pretty laid back!

Watch him sometime, it is really fun!

Oh and his stroke is a wonder to see.

ERNIE ELS

Ernie looked like a boy who grew to fast for a decade or more in his youth. He just looked like Baby Huey to his school chums in the old days. He had this boyish air and he is 6’3” and 210 lbs. He is a monster!

Ernie has won

18 wins on the PGA Tour

17 wins on the European Tour

3 Major Wins!

So basically, Ernie who is a South African, is 17th on the list for all time European Tour Wins whilst Tiger is third!

Does this make Ernie Els a bad golfer?

HELL NO.

Watch him walk down the course sometime. He is a fun watch. He is a little bit like Phil, plodding along but he is such a great golfer.

His swing is magnificent.

His attitude is magnificent.

Just like V J you will never see Ernie throw a club!

THE BIG EASY he is called.

What a wonderful man and what a wonderful athlete.

DAVID TOMS

Speaking of the Big Easy, this guy is anchored in Louisiana.

This is his twentieth year on the PGA Tour.

This guy is a gentleman.

He has won 13 times on the PGA Tour racking up on Major Win.

He is goooooooood.

He is fun to watch under pressure.

He has love for the game.

But he is eight years older than Tiger and if all the stars and the planets aligned, he will never reach 20 wins on the PGA Tour.

Such is life!

JIM FURYK

Here are some of his stats:

16 PGA Tour Wins

One US OPEN

Furyk is also fun to watch.

And Jim has a ‘flow’ about him. He carries himself so wonderfully! He has a look about him as V J and he would never throw a club after a bad slice or putt.

 

THE YOUNGSTERS!

 

So who is NUMBER ONE on the Tour right now?

Luke Donald.

Luke Donald just received a special commendation from the Queen of England for his Number One ranking amongst the World’s Golfers for more than a couple of times over the last few years.

Luke Donald is a fine golfer.

Luke Donald is 34 years of age and he has the following accomplishments:

5 PGA Tour wins

7 European Tour wins

The man is a great great golfer and yet, is two years younger than Tiger!

My conclusion is that Luke might win a few more wins (PGA Tour or European Tour Wins) Hell he might triple those figures!

But no one can compare him to Tiger and Tiger has won three tournaments this year whilst Luke has won one tournament.

RORY MCILROY

Rory Mc is fascinating to watch.

Having an Irish background, I love his freckles, his smile, his big ears. He is a wonder.

And he does kind of look like Howdy Doody.

So what hath Rory Boy wrought?

3 PGA Tour Wins

3 European Tour Wins

One Major

Okay, he is 23 and married to the Number One female tennis player in the world (currently #7)

He is fascinating to watch when he is on.

During last year’s US Open, he broke many records reminding some of Tiger back in 2000-2001.

Rory McIlroy win

But Rory has not done much since.

Now Rory has 30 years left in this game and who knows?

But at 23, Tiger had him beat on every single level one can imagine.

So what?

Well Rory is the future for sure.

But there is such a high road this man must take and this high road must rise to meet him and the wind had better be at his back! Ha

Xxxxxxx

Well now let us compare Tiger to these veterans who have challenged him the last 16 years. Tiger has won 34 more PGA Tournaments than Phil and 40 more than V J.

Do you know that Tiger has the third greatest number of wins on the European Tour of all time? That is since the Euro’s started keeping records, Tiger is the third greatest golfer of all time in the history of the European Tour.

It is not a contest.

Relatively Tiger is the greatest golfer since 1986 for chrissakes! But he has already surpassed Jack in a number of areas and shall continue to do so unless he is shot (and he receives death threats every single day of his life; especially since the Master of 1997) or he dies from some venereal disease!

HISTORY

Let us take a look at the stats involving golfers of old!

Arnold Palmer

62 PGA Tour Events

2 European Wins

7 Major Wins

Arnie changed golf forever.

Here was a veteran in the US Armed Forces who really begins his career at age 27 and illuminates the new TV experience.

Ten years younger, Jack Nicklaus destroys the old stats.

JACK

73 PGA Tournament Wins

18 MAJOR Wins

Nicklaus won other tournaments around the world but the total numbers are still eclipsed by Tiger.

Nicklaus cannot claim anything close to Tiger’s wins on the European Tour. Or the Asian Tour for that matter.

And about those Major Wins.

Nicklaus won two U.S. Amateur Tournaments.

Tiger won three.

They both won NCAA Individual Tournament Awards for the nation as a whole.

But again, you had to be there.

I mean watching Jack in the 1986 Master’s Tournament in Augusta was something to see. I mean he has his kid (another professional golfer) caddy for him and Nicklaus seems to scheme and pace and somehow come up with a win that was exceptional!

The muscles and the body fail and the mind takes over.

Which brings me to Watson:

TOM WATSON

Tom is a little more than a year older than me.

His stats (which as always tell half of the story):

39 PGA Tournament Wins

4 Japan Tournament Wins

8 Major Tournaments.

Tom Watson is one of the greatest golfers who ever played the game.

But what really gets to me is that he almost won a Major Championship as an old old man.

He almost won the 2009 British Open. He blew it on the final two holes but my God! 60 years old and he almost won the damn thing! I mean he came in second for chrissakes!

Oh you are long past your time old man.

Well, he lost to a great great golfer and a couple of bad bounces.

GARY PLAYER

What a name, to begin with!

Gary_Player

Gary would say no to nothing. Hahahahah

He had a splendid wife who brought him 9 children.

And he came from the second most racist plutarchist country in the world (next to us) and he spent his entire life (outside of golf) attempting to help those who cannot help themselves!

Yogi Berra might say:

ONLY IN AMERICA!

Hahahaha.

Gary Player was a great citizen of the world and a great man!

Here are his stats:

24 PGA Tour Wins

120 Other (?) Wins

9 Majors

Now I will ignore Champion’s Tour Wins. Just for the moment. My personal opinion is that Woods will hit the Champion’s Tour when he is 60 or dead!

But we have a different World Game now.

I mean today there are Australasian Tour Stats besides European Tour Stats and PGA Stats….

Well Gary managed to rack up 9 Major Wins as he attempted to project himself to the entire world from South Africa.

An amazing man.

Whatever ‘Other’ means:

TIGER HAS PUT TOGETHER THESE STATS!

74 PGA TOURNAMENT WINS

38 EUROPEAN TOURNAMENT WINS

2 JAPAN GOLF TOURNAMENT WINS

1 ASIAN TOURNAMENT WINS

1 AUTRALASIA WIN

16 OTHER WINS

SLAMMIN SAMMY SNEAD

So we come to Slammin Sammy Snead:

82 PGA TOURNAMENT WINS

69 ‘OTHER WINS’

7 MAJOR WINS

There might be a little problem with comparing apples and pomegranates but damn…I mean take Tiger’s win last December.

The win goes into the OTHER category because there were only 30 players. Just 30 of the top 40 players in the universe.

But even using the old standards, Tiger is only 19 wins away from Snead with all factors considered—as far as standards!

We look at the PGA Stats but damn, I mean 8 PGA more wins or 19 EVERYTHING COUNTS WINS, TIGER WINS.

 

CONCLUSION

Tiger is already the single greatest golfer of all time ON ANY CONTINENT WHATSOEVER!

Now if he only wins 4 more Majors, he already beats Jack in this category with his extra Amateur Award without even considering that Tiger is #3 on the all time list for Euro Wins!

But forget stats for a second.

Watching Chi Chi Rodriguez scratch out a birdie from the rough rough trees on the 13th or watching Jack sneak out a win at the 1986 Masters with his son, or watching Trevino smash a perfect approach to the 16th from nowhere or watching Tiger hit from a fairway bunker onto the green at the 16th….

Golf is fun to watch.

Amazing reality show really.

Much more fun than Kvorkian or whatever the silly whore shows are called today!

Further links:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1209770-tiger-woods-why-his-win-at-the-memorial-was-different

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/othersports/tiger-woods-looks-to-pass-jack-nicklaus-approach-sam-snead-for-pga-tour-wins/2012/06/26/gJQA5YHX5V_story.html

 

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6 thoughts on “TIGER WOODS IS UBERMENCH

  1. LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LOVE this post!!!!

    I so agree.

    Number one, I don’t care who Tiger has slept with or what he did with his marriage. I care about what he does on the golf course. And he’s amazing.

    Number two, I love Phil and Furyk with a passion. Thanks for mentioning Ernie Els, yes….he rocks my boat too.

    I love the slow and steady types, and those three are definitely in that category.

    One youngster whom I thought would be the next Tiger (but isn’t, alas) is Adam Scott. I think he’s an Aussie. He won Players back in 2007 or so (I think) and everyone compared him to Tiger and he had a nice round of Rolex ads and such, for a while. But I haven’t seen him around as much and don’t know what’s become of him. He studied with Stormin’ Norman, I think.

    Anyway, just so you know, I LOVE this post. 🙂

    1. Oh you read this! YOU REALLY READ THIS!

      Oh my heart!

      Damn!

      Yes you got right into what I was attempting to communicate Lisb.

      Wonderful!

      You really do get a kick out of golf!

      I am amazed.

      I mean no one would know how much I love to watch this sport.

      Anyway, Tiger had to straddle the line between celebrity and great athlete–Jordon survived.

      I already know that Tiger is surviving.

      This is probably sexist, but damn, Tiger’s smile will win out in the end.
      hahahahahahah

      1. And yes, I really do love to watch golf. I love the challenges of each shot, and I love to see the beautiful putts. My grandfather used to play golf and he taught me how to putt well enough that I don’t shame myself on a miniature golf course. I even took lessons a few years ago, to learn how to drive, but couldn’t complete the course because it became too expensive. I loved it, though, and I still like to play “golf” on my computer.

  2. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, DICK? NOT AT DAGBLOG ANYMORE? IS THIS TEMPORARY? WTF? ALSO, WTF? Drop by my Posterous sometime and tell me where you’re haunting these days, or give me a way to stay in touch, willya? Could also drop by that site kgb set up. And yes yes, i know I’m a bastard, but lemme know anyway, ok? 😉

    Q

    1. Oh hi Q!

      Sure I shall hit your site, maybe tomorrow.

      I am not on the masthead at Dag and I have had it!

      I am here and I will hit you tomorrow!

      I’m okay.

      I just have to come up with some other ways to communicate is all.

      Oh here is one quote I liked from Blue Bloods:

      Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile. (Donny Wahlberg.)

      Blue Bloods (2/10/12)

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