Never Send A Man To Buy Flour Unless He’s Alton Brown

Several months ago, maybe even a year, I asked Mr. Flower to bring a bag of bread flour home from the store. It never entered my mind that this was a Mission Impossible. Mr. Flower is pretty smart. I mean, he can read and everything so I didn’t think he’d have any trouble finding a widely available product clearly marked ‘BREAD FLOUR’.

bread floour

Boy, was I wrong.

“I didn’t see any bread flour so I got this,” he tells me, plunking down a five-pound sack of self-rising flour on the kitchen counter, “It’s the same thing, right?”

Well, no, it’s not the same thing.

Alton Brown would know this.

But not so Mr. Flower.

So I said, “Thanks, anyway,” and put the bag of undesired flour in the back of the pantry where it waited patiently for my tight-wad-don’t-waste-food gene to wake up, which took about three months.

If you google ‘recipes containing self-rising flour’ you will get a couple million links. Somehow, it’s comforting to know I’m not the only woman in America that has a husband that can’t ‘see’ bread flour in the grocery store. We are 2,000,000 strong!

Anyway, I happened to have some fresh apples on hand when I got the urge to not waste food, so that narrowed my search a little for a way to use the flour. That knocked the links down to about half a mil. Then I narrowed it to muffins, bringing it down to an easily manageable 100,000 links. hahahahaha

So, inspired to post by momoe and her recipes for the New Normal, here is one for Apple Cinnamon Muffins found online but adjusted by me…because I can never leave well enough alone.

Apple Cinnamon Muffins

1 egg, slightly beaten

½ cup milk

¼ cup oil

½ cup sugar

½ teaspoon cinnamon

1 cup peeled, grated apple*(this takes 1 or 2 apples, depending on their size)

1 ½ cups self-rising flour **

Topping

1/3 cup brown sugar

½ teaspoon cinnamon

2 tablespoons oatmeal

1 tablespoon melted butter or margarine

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease a 12-cup muffin tin very well, or use pan spray or baker’s spray. Don’t forget to grease the top of the tin too, as the muffins will stick to it when they rise and spread over the rims of the cups.

Make Topping mix first: In a small bowl, blend brown sugar, oatmeal and cinnamon together; mix in melted butter/margarine until mixture is crumbly. It may be necessary to add a bit more melted butter/margarine to achieve the crumbly texture. Set aside.

In a medium sized bowl mix egg, milk, oil, sugar, cinnamon and grated apple. Add flour and stir just until all is moistened. Spoon evenly into muffin cups. Sprinkle each with a heaping ½ teaspoon Topping mixture.

Bake at 400 degrees for 17-20 minutes.

Tip# 1

The best apples to use are the sweet snacking kind like McIntosh, Gala, Honey Crisp, or Yellow Delicious. Tart apples like Granny Smith are great for pies, but these muffins need the sweetness and ‘mushiness’ delivered by snacking apples.

*Tip# 2

To avoid having the grated apple turn brown, peel and then grate directly into the mixing bowl with the wet ingredients. An exact cup measurement is not imperative for the apple. An eyeball measure of this one ingredient will do. Usually one large apple or two medium/small ones is adequate.

**Tip# 3

If you do not have a husband that buys the wrong flour, all-purpose flour can be substituted for the self-rising with a few adjustments. To 1 ½ cups of all-purpose flour add 1/2 heaping teaspoon of salt and 2 level teaspoons of baking powder. Whisk or sift to blend. Adding these ingredients will give you the equivalent of self-rising flour.

Tip# 4

These muffins keep well in the freezer! If the whole batch cannot be eaten within a day or two, wrap each one as tight as possible in plastic wrap or foil, then place inside a baggie or reuse a bread bag. This well wrapped, they will stay fresh in the freezer for a month to six weeks at least.

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2 thoughts on “Never Send A Man To Buy Flour Unless He’s Alton Brown

  1. Thank you for all the tips. My former husband tried to use self rising flour in a bread machine. I never did get him to understand that the baking powder was interfering with the yeast. LOL. So I had to stop using self rising flour. Never did buy it again.

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