DON’T LOOK NOW fellow patriots, the country has been invaded. A great Bolshevik army is sweeping across the heartland, crushing democracy and imposing a radical Communist agenda on millions of patriotic Americans. They’re building ‘bases’ and setting up ‘camps’ in big cities and small towns from coast to coast. They’re riding roughshod over the democratic rights of millions of people as we speak. I’m talking, of course, about FEMA.
I’ll bet many of you patriots didn’t know as of May 13th, 2011, FEMA’s Kommissars have “declared emergencies” in over 400 counties,across 33 states. Yes, in just 5 short months, over 65% of our nation has been conquered by FEMA’s Marxists. In that time, their forces have succeeded in foisting millions of dollars on states across the nation. Even proud sovereign nation-states like the Republic of Texas have been forced to take millions of Rubles.
What’s going on here?
Well, in Texas wildfires caused by record droughts, bone dry brush, high winds and a marked lack of Jeebus have scorched the state for much of this spring, and Obama’s devious hordes know it. As soon as the fires displaced thousands and caused severe economic disruptions, FEMA swept in. Much of the great Republic has now been occupied; Santa Anna is knocking on the door of the Alamo.
But why are brave states like Texas being hit by all of these so-called natural disasters? Why are American patriots watching their homes and livelihoods get destroyed? Ron Paul knows why. It’s because people are dumb!
We should all thank Galt that there are patriots like Congressman Paul, willing to speak truth to power, reminding his fellow Texans about their “dumb mistakes.” “Dumb mistakes” like allowing a record low, 13-hundredths of an inch of rain to fall on parts of Texas. How dumb is that? Who’s in charge of creating rain down there?
It’s surely not Rick Perry’s fault. After bravely slashing funds for the Texas Forest Service in an effort to discourage the ‘dumb’ behavior of his constituents, Governor Perry recently devised a far more Conservative budget solution. He had a plan: Protect Texas and ensure that patriotic captains of industry don’t have the anchor of oppressive taxes on their luxury yachts. It sounded like a win-win.
Instead of all that expensive fire prevention and emergency response stuff that the Forest Service does on the off-chance that an emergency does occur, Perry would simply summon the Lord when needed. Texas is, of course, God’s Country, so few people questioned his plan. And when the fires started, he lept into action. Perry ordered all Texans to pray for rain for 3 whole days. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. Maybe Texans didn’t pray hard enough. Talk about “dumb mistakes.”
Ron Paul’s fellow “dumb” non-praying Texans have since ‘allowed’ more than 2 million acres of prime West Texas rea lestate burn to a crisp, causing tens of millions of dollars of damage to thousands of farms and ranches.
Throughout The Bible Belt, in the reliably pious and patriotic states of Oklahoma, Kansas, Iowa, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Georgia, many citizens are now under the jackboot of Communist occupation forces after they stupidly allowed tornadoes to destroy their communities and livelihoods. It’s a shame that so few people have read The Objectivist’s Guide to Defeating Statism AND Natural Disasters Through Prayer (and Money.)
The Bible Belt
Disaster Affected States, Spring 2011
Right now millions of people living along the Mississippi River must be kicking themselves as the river experiences record flooding. In Baton Rouge, the hometown of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, residents are on edge as they wait to see how dumb a mistake it was for city founders to locate a major city on the banks of a river. I mean, who does that?
Jindal’s Governor’s residence in the state capital should be spared, though. The Red Army Corp of Engineers has decided to open a series of floodgates up the river and target thousands of people dumb enough to live in poorer, rural areas. Phew!
But over in Morganza, Louisiana, almost 30 thousand people live in the Morganza Spillway flood basin. They have been ordered to evacuate as thousands of square miles of Cajun Country are expected to be drowned under up to 15 feet of floodwater.
It is humiliation upon humiliation for so many patriotic Americans across the nation. First, they stupidly allow natural disasters to occur on their private property, then they are forced to accept millions of dollars of Socialist FEMA money, and then the folly of their mistakes is highlighted by patriots like Ron Paul. It’s tough to be a patriot in 2011.
But do you know what the greatest humiliation for these patriots must be?
The greatest humiliation that a true American patriot can endure is the probability that his or her ‘dumb mistakes’ and failure to pray hard enough to the Lord for forgiveness for said ‘dumb mistakes’ will adversely affect future state and federal tax cuts for corporations and billionaires – the real backbone of this nation.
Socialism is on the march throughout the Heartland, patriots, and it’s all due to the dumb mistakes and atheism of the bottom-feeders. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.