INTERVIEW WITH JOHN MADDEN

A VERY MEAN EMPLOYER

Trump seemed to throw his lot in with the discredited rumors that President Obama wasn’t born in America, saying he’s a “little” skeptical of Obama’s citizenship and that every so-called birther who shares the view shouldn’t be so quickly dismissed as an “idiot.”

“Growing up no one knew him,” Trump told ABC’s “Good Morning America” during an interview aboard his private plane, Trump Force One. “The whole thing is very strange.

The birther issue has reached crisis proportions. Over half of all repubs (who would participate in a primary vote) do not believe our President was born in this country.

Only 28% of those folks are sure that President Obama was born in this country.

I requested an interview with John Madden to get his views on this subject and related subjects:

Q.  Thank you for participating in this interview Mr. Madden.

A.   Well glad to be of service Fred. You know, you know, you know I always like telephone interviews because it means that I do not have to prepare like taking showers and stuff.  You know as a man who made football his life, all those showers in front of other naked footballers can be a traumatic…

Q.   Yes of course Mr. Madden. But I would like you to weigh in on the issue of the day; do you believe that Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America was never born here.  What are your thoughts on this?

A.   Glad you asked that question Frank.  You know I was thinking about all this and it came to me that there is one truth about human beings is that we are all born of a woman. Hahahahahaah. But you know, we are either born or we are not born; that is what being a human being is all about. Being and being is what it is all about. Hahahah. But seriously, if we are all born of woman, well I just do not understand the issue I guess.

You know all of my football players were born of women and that was something I had to watch for every single minute of practice because the farther I could get these young men away from the womb—and the entrance to that womb, hhahaahahah—the better performance I could extract from those players.

Q.   Well thank you for that coach, but the issue is not whether he was born of woman is not really the issue. Although there are those who somehow believe that Barack Obama is really a robot manufactured by Muslim Terrorists to terrorize all us Americans.  The issue is whether or not our President was born in this country.

A. Well as I always say: Don’t worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon.

I mean we have a President of the United States, if we did not, who would sign all that legislation and tell us why we need to keep troops in places like that Afghan…Afghani…Afghanistan? Is that how you say it? Anyway the fact is that President Obama resides in the White House and he has family there and like I always say: Home is where the family is. And like baseball, you start at home and hope to run around all the bases and find yourself at home. Anyway, if President Obama is successful, all this hoopla about birthing and such will go by the wayside because: The only yardstick for success our society has is being a champion. No one remembers anything else.

Q.   Okay. But the people who call themselves the Birthers claim that President Obama did not qualify to be president since the U.S. constitution requires that one cannot become President of the United States unless he is at least 35 years of age and born in this country.

A. Oh well Gary why did you not say so!  Coaches have to watch for what they don’t want to see and listen to what they don’t want to hear. And mistakes have been made, that is for sure. As I like to say: If a referee throws a penalty flag and he didn’t make a mistake, then there’s probably gonna be a penalty. Like when the GB front line failed continually causing Brett Favre to be plummeted to the earth by the enemy defensive line. Did you know that I have never seen a QB better than Brett Favre, the man had…and Brett…ahahahahahaha…Brett Favre was surely born in this country even though he has a foreign name and…I wonder if people aren’t wary of Barack Obama because of his foreign name…I mean at first I thought the guy was Irish because his name sounded like O’Henry or O’Brien or…As a matter of fact I think that O’Henry played for the Rams in the 80’s but I would have to look that up.

Q.  Mr. Madden I am sure all your fans out there appreciate Brett Favre but the issue is whether you believe that the President of the United States of America was born here or not!

A. I have always said that: Coaches have to watch for what they don’t want to see and listen to what they don’t want to hear. Oh I already said that. “The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break. There is much wisdom in that and I have a lot of wisdom or I would not have one of those Super Bowl rings. I mean, maybe there is something wrong with the rule that you have to be born in the USA in order to rule. I mean that Certznigger guy in California was never born here since I think he was born in Australia or one of those east-west countries. You know the countries that are called the West but really are in the eastern part of the west…but “A team should never practice on a field that is not lined. Your players have to become aware of the field’s boundaries and boundaries are kind of like rules….

Q.   What do you think should happen if it is discovered that President Obama was not born in the good ole US of A?

A.   Well Tom Biden is the Vice-President and all so I assume he would assume the Presidency. Get it? Assume assume?  Hahahaahah. Now he would not have been exactly elected but he was elected Vice-President and if I recall correctly, Gerome Ford was not elected to anything and he got to be Vice-President and President.

Q. Well thank you for that John Madden; I mean there is a lot of clarity in what you say.  What affect to you think this birther issue will have upon President Obama’s chances for reelection next year?

A.  Fran, I have always felt that the team that has the most points is probably going to win; unless the play is called back for some reason cause you can make a touch down and the referee might throw a flag and call the play back…But I am beginning to understand the electoral process and it occurs to me that the more votes you receive the more likely you will win the day although that theory did not work so well for Joseph Gore in 2000.  And of course if you ask Senator Franken you might discover that you actually lost the election but then the election was called back by those election referees and after a recount you find out you actually won.  I find that the election process is a lot like a football game; you get to root for your team and you can get excited over the events. There is strategy in a football game. After your team has handed over the ball to the other team there are a series of downs. I recall telling my assistant coach: the defense should be expecting a run or a pass here.

And when the results of the election come in and after you have waited some time to see if a referee as thrown a flag; the game is over.

The only real difference between a football game and an election is time. A football game is scheduled for an hour and usually lasts three. An election is scheduled for twelve hours in several time zones but usually lasts three or four years.

Q. Well thank you John Madden for chiming in on this important issue.

A.  And thank you George for letting me get my licks in!

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2 thoughts on “INTERVIEW WITH JOHN MADDEN

  1. Great interview, Fred! Er, Frank…er, George…

    And hey, is it me or do Madden and Trump look like they could be cousins? Maybe they’re both inbred? 😀

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